So Here It Is

Last two days have been an emotional rollercoaster from me and I'm not even PMSing. I am glad to be free of many things but at the same time, feel unfilled, unhappy, and bored with life.  Sometimes the best time I have is when I sleep because then at least I can have some peace and my dreams can create a whole different life for me.  Its the same thing everyday, wake up, get ready, eat breakfast, get Kalel up, dressed, take him to daycare, go to work, get off come home, make something to eat, bath Kalel, bath myself, then bed.  I know that the only person that is going to help me right now is me but sometime a little nudge in the right direction would help.  I feel like I need to be saved.  I need something to look forward, something to get me out of this funk.  I am lonely but until I get over that, I would never be good company for someone else.

Blah, Blah

Uh, I use to like tax season, not this year, just broke even.  What to do what to do...I had so many  plans with the extra money I thought I would get.  So here it is just staying in financial hardship for the next year.  Is this really how life is suppose to be, suffering all the time.  No thank you, I don't want it, life is hard enough.

Starting over

I am not a writer, I am not creative, I am not good at expressing ideas, emotions, or thoughts.  I was told, start blogging maybe that might help you vent.  Venting, now that is a novel idea.  I don't know if I even know how to vent yet.  I am in a place right now that I don't even know how I feel about things.  I am 31 years old and in a place I never wanted to be nor imagined.  I am married, but my marriage has failed, so we are now seperated and we have a four year old son to share.  I don't even know how to be alone but yet I want to be.  I love my husband but yet I don't.  I want him around, but yet I don't.  I know its going to be better for both of us to seperate, we might just be better friends and parents than if we stayed together.  I just don't know where my life is going to head now, I thought I already knew what my life was going to be like.